Friday, September 28, 2012

Nipple Dilemma

So I finally found the absolute perfect third guest for my show. His name is Vinnie Myers and he is a tattoo artist who specializes in 3D nipple tattoos for breast cancer survivors. He is phenomenal and works closely with with Johns Hopkins. He also flies to New Orleans every month to work at a hospital there. I spoke with his secretary this morning and I'm not sure if it's going to happen but I'm hopeful. That's all.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

I Love Honey Boo Boo and You Should Too! or Revenge of the Kardashians

I have a confession to make. I love Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. I am an unabashed, unapologetic, and avid fan of the show. I think that a lot of the time TLC’s programming delves into sideshow territory and exploitation. I do not, however, think that Honey Boo Boo (Alana) and the whole Thompson-Shannons clan is being exploited. Or rather, I don’t think that they are being exploited anymore than say the Kardashians. Both are families with reality TV shows who are making money off of being themselves and putting it all out there. Both are large families run by a slightly ridiculous matriarch. Both are families that probably live very different lives than you and me. Regardless of the similiaries there is a very large difference between the two families.

The Thompson-Shannons are a wholesome, lovable, albeit uncouth family. The Kardashians are the fame/money/attention hungry spawn of E!. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Kardashians. I’ve been keeping up with them since their television debut years ago. I’ve taken Miami with them and New York City. I even kept up with Khloe and Lamar and I was there for Kendall’s sweet 16. During Kim's fairytale wedding, when other people scoffed at the pageantry and emotional fabrication, I kept watching, unswayed by the public outrage. I’ve grown up with the Kardashians and I respect them for being the shrewd business people that they are. The Kardashians have been phenomenally successful and rightfully so. They’ve been able to brand themselves in a way that most people can only dream of. The funny thing is, they are pretty despicable. Family head Kris Jenner controls her family with an iron fist. When Kim walks into her office you can practically see the dollar signs in her eyes. They’ve struck while the iron is hot and that is nothing if not commendable.

As much as I enjoy the Kardashians and their televised familial shenanigans I really don’t like them. I’ll gladly sit in front of the TV and watch them for hours at a time, eyes glazed and slack jawed, ready to buy whatever it is that they are selling. That being said, I don’t think that I’d ever want to meet them. I just get the sense that if they can’t use you then they don’t need you. Sure, they’ll smile and pose for a picture with you. They’ll even tell you how great you look in your Kardashian Kollection jumpsuit. But I also think that as soon as you walked away they would start talking shit about you.

This brings me back to Honey Boo Boo. I genuinely like them. The whole family is so self-aware; they’re in on the joke, which is a refreshing change of pace. Also, they like themselves. Unlike the Kardashians they aren’t constantly working out or dieting or getting ridiculous plastic surgery (I’m looking at you Kris...and Bruce). They are who they are, they don’t try to hide or change for the public, you either accept them or you don’t. Many people think that they epitomize white trash while even more think that they are likable and relatable in a way that celebrities never are. The Thompson-Shannons know that you have some opinion about them and they’re 100% fine with that.

I think we could and probably should all learn a lesson from Alana and her family. Sometimes in life it’s better to just be yourself and let the truth speak for itself. No matter what you do in life you can’t control what people think about you. Instead of getting eyelash extensions and bleaching our assholes, maybe we should just be content with what we have. Worrying about how the world perceives you takes a lot of time and energy. Sometimes it’s better to just put it all out there, and if people like it then great, and if they don’t? Well, that’s fine too. And sometimes if you just be yourself you’ll get a reality show out of it, and really, at the end of the day, isn’t that all any of us can ask for?

National Public Retard

So right now I'm sitting in the WYPR office and I'm bored. Vanessa just left for the day so it's probably going to be very quiet around here. Right now it's just me and Nikki in a very cramped office. The dulcet sounds of traffic are wafting in through the windows. It's almost kind of pleasant. I should be working on my show but I'm blogging instead which seems like a better use of my time right now.

The show went well last night. Lindsay came which was really nice of her. I would've felt stupid (more stupid) being there by myself. Thankfully, and I really mean that, my play "Gathering Doom" got a really great reaction from the audience. I got a ton of laughs and it felt great that people understood it and thought that it was funny. So the show went off without a hitch, however, post show I had to go up on stage and do a Q&A session. However, proving that some people never change, Teri (and to a lesser extent Kimberley) did a lot of talking. I answered one question about my writing process (which also got a laugh) and that was about it. There were a few questions from the audience about the cultural differences and how our perceptions of Northern Ireland changed and....borrrrrring. I was really hoping that someone would jump up and yell "Sean I heard you suck a lot of dick! Is that true?!?!" or "Mr. McDonough, could you comment on the rumors that you set houses on fire so you can save people and look like a hero?!?" But alas, nothing like that happened.

After the show today I have Project Management II which means I'm probably going to have to present tonight. I really don't want to present. I hate presenting. I've always hated presented. In fact I recently blogged about how much I wasn't looking forward to this presentation. I'm hoping against hope that he asks everyone if we think it's necessary to present tonight or if we can just move on to the next project.

Speaking of projects, I finally successfully made something in Adobe indesign that I'm proud of. We had to make a poster promoting a fake concert (the Throwing Bows tour, coming to a venue near you!). It was a giant pain in the ass because I had to do it in the computer lab as opposed to doing it at home. Also printing a poster takes almost 30 min and cost about $10. Once I had the finished product I then had to haul ass to Michael's to buy foam core and spray mount. Then I mounted the poster while simultaneously coating my hands and forearms with spray mount. Once my poster was securely attached to the foam core I had to cut it to size. As you can probably tell this whole thing took up a lot of my very, very important time. Seriously, I'm really fucking busy. But, all in all, I'm very happy with the outcome and my professor Jessica Moore seemed to like it as well. Now I just have to create a magazine. I think I'm gonna call it "Frivolity & Idle Amusement" or if that doesn't work "Shit for Gay Retards".

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Majority Vote

So, I've been working on a new collection of poetry. I'd like to put some of it up here but, honestly, it's really personal and I don't want people to just dismiss it as shitty post-adolescent bullshit (even if that's what it is). Therefore I'm leaving it up to you internet. If you'd like to read some poetry and delve ever deeper into my psyche then leave a comment or shoot me an email or something and let me know.

To sweeten the pot a little, for every comment I get (which realistically may end up being zero) I will post 1 poem. However, I will also post a little blurb describing the background of said poem.


So tonight my play is being performed for the first time ever in America. I'm very excited to see the audiences reaction butttttttt I also have to stand on stage for a post show Q&A...color me not excited. Feel free to come ask me difficult personal questions not at all related to the play.

Set Standards to Low Pt. 1

I'm exhausted. I've got the day off today so I'm cleaning, working, and still getting over the weekend. Basically I had work Saturday morning at 3AM as per usual. However, Saturday was also Nicole's birthday. Now normally I would just sleep when I got off of work at 10AM, no harm no foul. However, this Saturday was a little different. Remember that time I went to Ireland for a month to write a play? Well tomorrow we are performing the plays for the school and also have a post show Q&A session. Because of this we had a 3 hour rehearsal on Saturday which threw a big fucking Donkey Kong sized monkey wrench right into my tightly coordinated plans.

After work I was really tired due to a combination of having to be at work at 3AM also because I got zero sleep the night before. After work I drove home and slept for a few hours. I really only meant to sleep for about 1 hour, get up, take a shower, and drive to school. As it turns out, I ended up sleeping until noon, which was when rehearsal start. I almost skipped the whole thing actually. I'm not in the performance, I was too busy and missed the first 2 rehearsals so I told Kimberly that I didn't have the time to participate. No big deal, she said it was fine and my play is still being performed. She did ask that I attend the final, tech rehearsal which I acquiesced to. Anyway, I starting getting texts from Rachel asking if I was coming. I assured her that I was. I dragged my ass out of bed, took a shower, threw on my finest bum clothes and drove to school. All told I was about 90 minutes late...oh well.

When I got to school I was promptly thrust on stage and basically told that I was still in the performance. I had to sit through an entire dress rehearsal and it sucked. I had enjoyed a small, green, leafy, salad earlier and wasn't prepared for the spotlight to literally be on me.

After the show I talked to Kimberley and better explained the situation. She understood so now I just have to do the Q&A after the show. Unfortunately for me, my day was just beginning.

Following rehearsal I hauled ass home to change clothes and then immediately leave to meet Jack, Nicole, and Lindsay at a corn maze. Of course while we were in the very middle of the maze it began to torrentially rain...yeah, so that happened.

Thursday, September 20, 2012


Officially booked Derek Roberts PHD for my radio show. This was actually a really big get for me. I'm quite pleased.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012


So I downloaded the blogger app for iPhone, I'm not going to be doing any serious writing with it because the teeny tiny keyboard is a bitch to use with my giant, bear hands. However, I will be utilizing it for micro-blogging on the go (or as I've dubbed it: fractional blogging).

Makes Sense to Me

I can honestly say I have never been this busy in my entire life before. I'm writing this before Project Management II starts. The first presentation is due today and I'm content with it. I am not, however, content with having to present it to the class. I always feel so stupid when I have to do something like this. It should be pretty straight forward but the first part of the presentation is a mood board that is supposed to sum up our visual aesthetic as a designer. Whenever I have to get in front of a group of people and try and make sense out of my predilection for pandas, cemeteries, and Nic Cage I can never seem to verbalize what I'm trying to convey. I wish people could just crack my skull open and peer into the teeming mass of red and self-loathing that is my creative process. It really would be easier than having to explain to people what I'm trying to do. I'm a mentally handicapped (seriously) artist, just smile and nod and we'll move on to the next guy.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Indian Summer

So my first show, as in one that I've written, researched, and produced, is on the calendar for 10/15. It's gonna be the second hour of the show which is usually reserved for human interest and weird shit that the producers don't know what to do with. I'm really excited but I have a fear in the pit of my stomach that no one is gonna call in and that Dan isn't going to know what the hell to do with the curator of the Baltimore Tattoo Museum. Although, I guess I can't really help that. All I can do is provide a well written script and exhaustively researched notes and the rest is out of my control. Just to be safe though I'm going to make sure that everyone I know has the show's number and a well formed opinion regarding tattoo culture. Now if only that PHD asshole from Michigan would call me back and then this show would be phenomenal. So far the radio station is going well. I was able to do an admirable job on my first big I have to explain about Rudy. Have you ever seen the movie "Rudy"? No? Me neither. "Rudy" is a stupid feel good, heart warming movie from 1993 about an underdog named, you guessed it, Rudy, who despite the odds is able to fulfill his dreams. Are you done puking yet? Now, anyone who knows me knows that I detest heartwarming and feel good on principal alone. But I digress. Rudy has recently written a book about his life and the hoops he had to jump through to get the movie made. My assignment was to read his book and take notes on it. These notes are what Dan Rodricks, the host, uses before the show to prep, and during to reference. I also had to come up with some questions for him to ask Rudy. Rudy has had, without a doubt, the most boring, pointless life of anyone ever. He's so fucking wholesome he wrote "heck" about 20 times in his book yet there was nary a "fuck" in sight. Now, would you trust a grown man whose go to cuss word is "heck"? I don't fucking think so Rudy. Anyway, the book, and Rudy himself, were just as awful as you can probably imagine. The only interesting thing about the man was that he was charged with fraud by the SEC last year and had to pay almost $400,000 in fines, but unfortunately this wasn't a trial so Dan didn't really ask him about it. Oh and Rudy hogged all of the catered lunch that day too. I'll see you in hell Rudy.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Black, white, and sleevless, just like my heart (UPDATED)

I am sitting in class waiting for 211 to start and I'm suddenly filled with an unbelievable rage that I doubt I will be able to quell without the aid of some kind of chemical substance which I obviously can't take. I don't want to say why I'm so mad but suffice to say I haven't felt this particular feeling in a very long time. I had to go all the way to Texas for that fucking hoodie and you fucking gave it to motherfucking him?!!?!?!?!?!

UPDATE: So as it turns out it's not my sleeveless hoodie, my mistake.