Amphetamine Logic

I used to love doing drugs. I mean really love them. When I was going to school in New Orleans I started doing Ritalin pretty regularly. I would stay up all night and write nonsensical things that I was convinced were the beginnings of the great American novel. As it turns out they were really the scrawlings of a delusional drug addict posing as a literary ingenue. I ended up failing out of school, due in no small part to my obsession with amphetamines. I loved doing them but there was always a point where things got a little crazy. The first hour or 2 is phenomenal. You feel great, you're energetic, and for some reasons cigarettes taste fucking amazing. But then if you keep going down the rabbit hole everything gets fucked up. It's gradual too; it sneaks up on you. I would say around 1 am is when it becomes hell. It stops being fun but you can't just turn it off. I remember being up all night and praying to fall asleep. Lying in the dark, hearing the traffic outside and almost crying from delirium because you just want it to stop. It's like a fucked up carnival ride that keeps spinning long after you've thrown up. I remember rejoicing when the sun would come up. That meant that the long, nightmarish night was finally over. I could shower, go to class, and try and act like a normal human being. Days were easy but I wouldn't wish those nights on anyone. The worst part was that when you finally came down you were so exhausted from being up for days at a time that you would crash. I would slip into a coma masquerading as sleep and stay that way for 14 hours. I missed so many classes. I tried to count once but I couldn't keep the days straight. When I moved back to Baltimore I started taking Ritalin again. It was bad at first but eventually I evened out. I even stopped taking it and started selling it to my retarded co-worker Dawn. Oh Dawn, life hasn't, nor will it ever be, kind to you. I guess the point of this post is to say that some drugs are bad. Not all of them but some. So, be careful I guess. Or don't, I'm not going to tell you what to do.